we finally got to the hotel. i cried on and off for a few hours. we were able to send two of our cats to temporarily stay at peoples houses. we had a medical lockdown this morning at school, as a teacher had a stroke. o_o ... there was also a weird fight in the cafeteria. on the bus, this girl came on sobbing. i asked her whats wrong (i easily realized she couldnt talk while crying, since im the same way, so we just typed) and she got wigged out because a teacher was yelling at kids. i made sure she drank water and gave her a hug, upon being given permission. she is quite a sweet girl, so i would feel horrible if i didnt help. i often see her talking to others, especially disabled students. she reminds me of myself, perhaps when i was younger. so full of some sort of odd love for people. its admirable.
once i got home, and my parents and sister were arguing, we finally started driving to the hotel. it was only when i sat down in the hotel did i start crying. my reason was really just all of it, all the events going on. but it was mostly the fact that id be stuck in the same small room as the rest of my family and a medium sized dog that yells all day. i had specifically found a jacket for myself prior, incase i ever had to leave the motel because its overstimulating. i felt a little better after we had pizza. although, i was trying to see if my close friend (brother), b, could take the stray bert overnight for me. i didnt wanna leave him at the old house, i didnt trust the landlords, but we couldnt bring him to the hotel. my dad kept bugging me for an answer so i just freaked out and told him i didnt know if we could leave bert at his house or not. i was going to shower, but the shower was weird, and too new. i wanted to relapse very much. but i didnt really have the privacy or ease to stay in the bathroom long enough to do it.
after rest, though, things felt a little easier. i ate some donuts and then went to the shelter with my father. i had cried once they took him to the back with the rest of the animals. he tried to say things to assure me, but i couldnt help but just feel annoyed (my reaction to most things he does).
and now i am sitting here writing this. as this is for my therapist, ill address her directly. lol hi T. ^__^ it made me a little bummed out i could not speak to you yesterday; i was crying and much too tired. plus, i would have had to leave the hotel, and it wouldve taken too long to get somewhere i could settle to be on the phone at. hopefully this will help keep the gaps filled.........in my free time, im still working on my game...i always think im about done, but then i want to add more. >.>
